A note about the 9-to-5…
Okay, so I’ve been trying to network like cray recently and just dip my toes into whatever potential new experiences come my way. By doing so I’ve found more and more that I love writing, PR and managing social media- and I’m pretty good at it!
That being said…a few weeks ago I got an email from a woman who reached out to me about a sales position for a national insurance company. I wasn’t really interested and am not sure how she got my information. I explained to her my circumstances (about moving to San Francisco) and said that I was grateful for her consideration. She wrote back explaining that if I took the job they could easily transfer me to their San Francisco offices. Not really thinking about the job itself, the idea of having a job lined up in San Fran GREATLY appeal to me. So I thought, what the hell? And scheduled an “interview.”
I say “interview” because when I walked into the insurance office on Wednesday for what I thought would be a one-on-one interview, there was a sign on the door that said, “career briefing.”
Enter first wave of panic.
There’s another girl standing there with her resume. I am smiling, laughing at myself for how naive I was to think this wouldn’t be some sales stunt.
Eventually this woman leads us down a hall, past all those ridiculously tacky motivational posters with eagles and people white water rafting on them into a bland room of tables and chairs facing a screen to which a powerpoint machine is facing.
I honestly almost start crying at this point and am having what I’m pretty sure we would call a mild panic attack.
I am sitting there with a bunch of unmotivated, American 20-somethings in horrible outfits found at Wal-Mart in the 90′s (sorry, I know that’s mean) and I can actually hear the slideshow projector attempting to suck out my creativity and my soul.
So after waiting for 10 minutes trying to practice the breathing techniques my therapist taught me, in walks “that guy.” That guy whose glory days were on the basketball team in middle of no-where America in high school. I laugh out loud. He gives me a funny look.
The first thing he opens his mouth to say is why he’s not wearing his suit jacket. Like anyone gives a damn. Then he says we’re just going to “chat casually” for an hour.
FULL BLOWN panic attack. Breathing techniques out the window. I feel like I’m going to throw up. There is no way I’m sitting in this room for an hour. I’m convinced I’ll be a lesser person if I do. I start thinking about the politest way to get out.
Meanwhile, this guy starts going through the slideshow and points out that, yes selling insurance is “boring,” but it’s “stable.”
I do everything I can to not raise my hand and tell this guy that he needs to come up with a better sales pitch for the sales position he’s pitching.
“What’s going on in the world doesn’t affect insurance sales, that’s what I love about this company,” he says.
Done. Can’t listen any more. Have to go. Zero respect.
I wait for him to ask the audience some questions, the two in the front row are all about this and acting over-enthused. I decide I will never reach that point in my life. Where I’m that desperate for a job that is “boring” but “stable.” I say it again and again and make a life decision and a promise to myself to never work for a company that doesn’t allow me to use my creativity.
I raise my hand, politely tell him that I was misinformed and that I have to go. I walked.
I lasted 15 minutes and I’m not going back.
I am grateful for this experience for it showed me a career path that I most certainly do not want.