Posts Tagged ‘success’
I recently read an old NYT opinion piece by, none other than Ben Stein- yeah, the Clear Eyes guy. Someone shared it with me and thought I may like it, or dislike it. They couldn’t decide. Keep reading and you’ll see why.
The op piece deals with the Economics of Love. Turns out it leaves me reeling in questions more than anything.
It got me to thinking how frequently I DON’T think about decisions in life with an economic and long term investement type mind set. I tend to be overly rational in the day-to-day decisions, but extremely UN-rational in larger, game changing decisions.
I’m convinced this stems from the disease of too much choice that plagues our generation. When there are SO many options, how do you decide which ones are right? Especially when it comes down to the big life decisions. It becomes much harder to never say “what if” because there are a 1,000 other “what ifs!”
I too frequently act on what feels good or what looks good at any particular moment- for better or worse. Though often I find it to be for the worse as it can be emotionally exhausting and even cripling at times to act on feelings in any given particular moment. Alas, that’s what makes us human, and ever so capable of making mistakes. It is feeling after all that sets us apart from robots. However, what does acting on feelings in the now mean for the later?
In a world where I desire success, a.k.a. earning a means to live comfortably, travel the world, have fun and raise a family, do I really have time for feelings right now? Or do I just need to learn how to manage them better? And if so, how do you do that?!
Feelings make things so much more complicated! They make us slow down, something I know I’m not too partciularly found of, yet they do get the better of me and it does happen. I tend to stop and overanalyze WHY I’m feeling a particular way. But does it REALLY matter? Further, once you have those unreal moments, those seemingly perfect days, how do you go back to living a “normal” life in the next day? Naturally we are greedy when it comes to feeling good. It makes sense. Why WOULDN’T you want to feel untouchable every day?
Does this mean I currently only have two options? Option A being the rollar coaster of highs and lows or option B, a calculated, somewhat steady existence.
Can you have both? Can you manage your feelings and emotions and only allow for the good emotions to come through? Can you train yourself to black out or to ignore or to just work through or to simply not even have bad moments? Does this calculated type of living prevent you from really enjoying the good moments?
I wonder. Experimenting now in affect. Stay tuned.
My roommate recently shared with me this explicit blog by Emma Koenig. Koenig’s blog, soon to be a book, has recently gained quite a bit of attention, and not just because of the explicit title.
While I’m envious of Emma Koenig’s blogger stardom, I’m equally as excited to see a struggling 20-somethings’ expression of what it can be like in a day of the life get some credit.
After reading some of Emma Koenig’s blog posts and laughing out loud in comical relation, I read the recent article in the New York Times that discusses Koenig’s success but also the 20-something tragedy.
I liked Ms. Koenig’s ballsiness right off the bat. I laughed out loud to some of her posts, including this one:
But what really won me over was this quote:
“In such a culture, Ms. Koenig said, you wonder what it means to be successful. “Is it making money?” she asked. “Is it tons of hits and fans? Is it making work I like or surviving for that week?””
Bingo. I ask myself this same question at LEAST once a day and the answer changes every time, often, with a lack of confidence and evidence to support any one of these answers. Sometimes I think we could be called the trial and error generation. A generation where nothing is certain or guaranteed and there is no recipe for success. We live by trial and error.
Other fun things I learned in this article:
- Emma Koenig’s brother, Ezra, is in a little indie band you may or may not have heard of, Vampire Weekend.
- Newsweek recently published an article about our “screwed generation” which sums the daily hardships we’ve come to know as life which is pretty depressing/interesting.
And, lastly…I am not alone in feeling a constant level of heightened anxiety…
- “If depression was the hallmark of the Gen-Xers,anxiety belongs to the Millennials.” ~Dr. Meg Jay, a psychologist who treats 20-somethings. “They are worried life isn’t going to work,” she said.
Is it true that we don’t deserve something unless we suffer for it first? And do we really want to suffer for it if it means success brings about loneliness?
Sometimes I wonder if it’s true that we, as Americans, feel we need to suffer in order to make a reward ” well deserved.” I also wonder if people fear success for the inevitable loneliness it brings with it.
I was thinking about what to write for a post today and I got to thinking about what I like to write the most. Coincidentally, the posts I get most fired up about writing are the ones that people like the most. At first, I thought these were my cynical rant posts. At a closer look at my WordPress stats, that was not the case.
I got to thinking what these three posts have in common and started questioning their popularity.
The three themes these posts have in common is overcoming a challenge. The fist being overcoming the negativity a quarter life crisis can bring about, the what-not-to-say in a restaurant comments are overcoming and making light of difficult people and the published piece story is about the months of hard work I put in to a story I believed in to see it finally get published, overcoming fears and stereotypes.
These are all seemingly very difficult challenges that involved a lot of uncontrollable factors. People love to read about things that are difficult and love to read about how to deal with them. In each one of these posts, I don’t actually overcome th uncontrollable factors, I just find ways around them. People admire that, but do people want to go out and do things like that themselves?
It’s not easy to accept that some successes have to be achieved in different ways than originally planned. It would be easier to just sit around and complain and say, “Well, that’s not going to happen.” I know because for many years I was like this.
Now it is true that I posted all these stories on my Facebook timeline and that surely lead to an increase in traffic, HOWEVER, I have posted other blog posts on Facebook that haven’t gotten nearly as much traffic.
That brings me to another point. People love to be part of a group, just look at Facebook’s success if you don’t believe me. People want to feel that their successes are shared. I think our generation has a hard time succeeding on their own because of this.
I am no different. I recently undertook the task of changing my life. No easy feat for sure. I changed my “career path” to one that is seemingly very difficult to break into in the time of a down economy where the industry is constantly changing. I am planning on moving across the country. And I’m learning to let go of the things in the past that I cannot control. Growing up/changing my life- whatever you want to call it.
To know that most days I’m doing this all on my own is exhausting. Most days it doesn’t affect me as I’m excited for all these changes, but some days it’s just straight up difficult. I guess if it were easy, people would do it more often. What’s more is when you do something independently like changing your life and you do it for yourself, it’s not a bad thing, but it’s uncomfortable at times and lonely and most people avoid loneliness.
Which reiterates my second question, do people fear the loneliness that comes with success?
I have written 100 blog posts for the Leiter Side of Life!
(In my head this is where one of those cheesy Hooray! calls goes off and confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling.)
Moment to pause. Both for concern of actually thinking out the above statement and to soak in the feelings of success.
I started writing my blog back in February on a weekend getaway to Higgins Beach. I had decided to leave my job as assistant manager and work towards something that was more “me.” Something that would bring me more happiness and sense of accomplishment. Obviously I’m still on that quest and I know it’s not going to happen over night.
My blog has been an outlet to channel my struggles and the lighter moments along the way. I have almost 2,600 visits to my blog, 2,594, to be exact, and while most are family and friends I’m still so grateful for their support and that others have gotten to see, and hopefully relate a little, to my quarter-life crisis.
When I look back and see how far I’ve really come in the past four months it feels good. Though most days present a lot more challenge then days previous, I feel like I’m working towards something for the first time. The little successes along the way, like getting my surfing story published, have more prolific feelings of success then I’ve had previous in my life.
This blog has really help me get more in tune with myself in many ways, seriously and light-heartedly, at times.
Every time you post on WordPress, a little quote of encouragement comes up. Along the way I took screen shots of some of my favorites. Enjoy!
Hello Friday afternoon! It is GORGEOUS out. The leaves are almost totally out and the weather is fine. Spring is settling in, summer time is approaching, the weather is consistently warmer and flip flops are almost acceptable every day. It’s light later, people are out more. Beer is more satisfying.
I’m a baseball fan, sure. But more then that, I love America. The American dream. It’s tough to find something that represents that better then Fenway Park. The history, the heartbreak, the hardwork, the championship, the dream, it’s in every Fenway Frank and overprice Budweiser, and I absolutely love it.
While this isn’t the best quality of a photo, I love this picture because it represents that for me. The envy and the desire these two little boys had to be close to the baseball players, to their legends and the dreams baseball, and Fenway Park especially, invokes to become a legend.
This week I’ve been going non stop early morning to late night making connections, going to meetings, writing, managing social media, and, of course, bar tending. Working for my dream. With the great weather and that need to succeed attitude I’ve got going on, I thought I’d do my best to inspire it in ya’ll with this pic. Go get ‘em.
I can not even start to explain the satisfaction and rewarding sentiments that came with the email I received informing me of my published post.
This story started back at an Art Walk in December. It has very slowly, with countless hours of research, writing and interviews on my part, snowballed into the published piece that it is now.
Even after the editor agreed to my pitch, I still thought it might be a long shot after sending him my finished piece. Given my recent success rate at getting stories published I have decided it is best to keep up my guard and skepticism. The freelance writing industry is a tough place.
I have been in California the past few days on another mini west coast vacation with some friends and the news couldn’t have come at a better time. The overwhelming joy I already felt was exemplified by the people I was with and the place I was in.
I’m so happy for Wiley, Jon and Henry and the extra coverage and attention that this will hopefully bring for the VSP. But I am also happy and proud of myself. I needed this very badly. It’s been a long time coming. Finally, I can believe a little bit more and truly know that this is the start at a very long, rewarding journey of success for myself.